Life Bites

yeah sucking has been over used and i wanted something more aggresvie so yeah life bites. im so tired of dealing with this. i have feelings for my ex gf and they wont go away i cant hardly talk to her anymore i want but i dont want physical contact with her. i want her to know i feel but i dont want her to. as far as she knows im over her and id like to keep it that way shit is already weird between us. I just kind wish i could get over her, get her out of my system...move on. but its just not happening. bleh i am so tired. emotionally physically mentally. it never ends. i swear god or whatever magical being out there that controls my life hates me. i mean its not bad at all i have a roof over my head clothes on my back food in my belly and people who love me dearly but why cant i find that person to give my affection to? and when i finally do...im like the perfect gf except for a few things. im so tired of being single but i cant seem to let her go and its tearing me apart i miss her like crazy and i juat want to be with her idk. maybe im just sticking myself in a place i shouldnt even be..........maybe my heart just needs to be locked up so it cant hurt itself anymore idfk