Jees Louise Could Things Get Any Worse?

Things in my life lately haven't been so amazing. I found this girl. Her name is cynthia. Shes down right amazing. We meet and we fall in love. We plan on her moving down here. She stands me up. She tells me sorry I forgive her. She plans to come down and move in again. She pushes the date back farther.........and you find me here waiting. I do love her and I do want to be with her but I don't know. I feel as if it is all an excuse and that nothing will ever work out. Some of her family and friends don't like me and that is something I have to deal with. Me and my mother move. We think we will be happier but we are not. We get more miserable every day. We constantly fight and I am never home. She gets mad at me for that and I have lost myself I look forward to finding myself. I want things to be better and all I can do is try to work them out. I want my life to be what it was when I was head over heals, when it didn't matter where I lived and I had no life. Maybe it would be better for me if I was alone in life. Seems As if thats the only time when I truly know who I am What I want.